You know Tenchi Muyo is having a negative impact on your life when…

You know Tenchi Muyo is having a negative impact on your life when….

Written by Gabe Ricard and Happy Lithium Bird

With other additions by Nagi-Chan, Nako-Chan, Shane, Corrett and Torett Hive.

You know Tenchi Muyo is having a negative impact on your life when….

Whenever you talk to other Anime fans you look at them quizzically and ask what they mean by "other Anime and manga."
You have lost at least one girlfriend/boyfriend trying to set up a triangle similar to the Aeka/Tenchi/Ryoko triangle.
You own back up copies of all Tenchi episodes and movies
You’ve had to use one of the back up copies
You call up your local pet stores on a daily basis and demand to know when their getting a shipment of Ryo-oh-ki’s
You hold constant arguments about the true spelling of Aeka and Washu’s names
You know Washu’s science song by heart and are often found singing it either to yourself or out loud
You bought a DVD player just so you could own the DVD versions of the various Tenchi shows.
Mark Miller (the voice of Tenchi in all three shows) has filed numerous restraining orders on you.
You receive an F in History when your teacher informs you that the Jurian Empire doesn’t count as one of histories great empires.
Even after eight viewings the ending to Tenchi Universe still makes you cry.
Your entire room is wallpapered with Tenchi posters
Without stopping, you can name every line and scene that Pioneer changed in some way when they where preparing it for Toonami
Web masters consider your signature in their guest books as a badge of honor.
You’ve had to take at least one cat to the vet after throwing it in the air and expecting it to turn into a spaceship
You left your local police station in disgust when you found that no one named Kiyone or Mihoshi works there
You have created a web site devoted to proving that Aeka and Ryoko are secretly in love
You actually liked Tenchi in Tokyo
You hit on your relatives reasoning that if Tenchi can fall in love with a relative so can you.
People refuse to talk to you because all you do is talk about how great Tenchi Muyo is.
You own both English and Japanese copies of all Tenchi manga
You learned Japanese just so you can read the Japanese Tenchi mangas
You saw an episode of Sailor Moon and saw it as nothing more then a bad rip off of Pretty Sammy
You’ve started numerous petitions for a 3^rd Tenchi OAV
You have at least twenty megs of Tenchi images and media on your computer
After your latest 3^rd OAV petition fails…you get a bunch of people together and make your own
You argue in great detail that Nagi shouldn’t have won the bathing suit contest in Tenchi Universe because going naked shouldn’t count as a bathing suit.
Your grandpa has had to ask you to stop calling him Yosho on several occasions
You get knife and name it after yourself
You pick fights with people you KNOW can kick your ass confident the power of Tsunami will lead you to victory
While others have porno magazines you have a tape consisting of nothing but the nude scenes from the three Tenchi shows.
You STILL demand to know just what the hell other "Anime" and "manga" are
You name your comp after your favorite Tenchi Muyo! Character. -Nagi-Chan
You have home made Tenchi Muyo! PJs and wear them every night. –Nagi-Chan
You force everyone to start calling you "Space Pirate Ryoko"- Nagi-Chan
You have been working non-stop to develop a plan to steal your friends Ryo-oh-ki doll. -Nagi-Chan
While other people have cats and dogs you have a Cabbit that only you can see. -Nagi-Chan
You have practiced for months to talk like Washu. -Nagi-Chan
You make a costume just like Pretty Sammi's and expect all strangers to know all your attacks as you commit them on other complete strangers. –HLB
You tape those clear colored plastic rocks (you find in fish tanks) onto the inside of your wrists in hope they'll provide you power and the ability to call demons. -HLB
You think all Pokemon are a rip-off of Ryo-oh-ki and Misty is a rip-off of Ryoko.- Shane
You have seven copies of each movie soundtrack and you have burned the CD's to make your own "Mix CD" entitled "The Best Music in the WORLD!" -HLB
You think any song being played on the Anime/game/movie is better then normal/pop music. -HLB
You have no idea what PokeShipping is. –HLB
You DO KNOW what MasakiShipping is. – HLB
You hear that some band you used to hate is making a Tenchi Muyo based song, and you scream in pure joy.- HLB
As the result of watching TM! You now find yourself listening to music you normally wouldn’t touch with an eight foot cattle prod. (A new dimension of love…A bold adventure waiting for you).
Despite owning every episode of every Tenchi show and movie on every available format you STILL tape the Cartoon Network versions just to have an extra Tenchi fix.
You own all of the Tenchi Muyo! Plush dolls.
You have spent a great deal of money to obtain the live Tenchi Muyo musical that was done in Japan a while ago.
You actually KNEW there was a Tenchi Muyo musical.
In Playboy you have little pictures of Mihoshi’s head taped over the models faces-HLB
If a girl, all your Teen Beat and Redbook pictures of guys have been replaced with pictures of Tenchi-HLB
You see Star Wars as little more than a Tenchi Muyo! rip off despite the fact Star Wars came out twenty years earlier.

You cried at the end of Tenchi In Tokyo when Sasami made a new friend-HLB

You have fantasizes about Tsunami-HLB

You made your own complete 30 act Tenchi Muyo! Doujinshi.

You make song parodies-HLB

Your doing this-HLB

Your READING this-HLB

Everything you own has Tenchi magnet or sticker attached to it.-HLB

Your hard rive is full of nothing but Tenchi fics-HLB

Your desktop theme is Tenchi.Zip.-HLB

You watch Zorro and think that if he’s so great why doesn’t he have a Lighthawk Wing Sword.- Nako-Chan

Your Biology teacher has been forced to explain several times that a Rabbit and a Cat will NOT cross.-Nako Chan
You call your friend Sasami and in return they call you Ryo-oh-ki- Corrett and Torett Hime
Several times through out the list you have had to stop reading this list and take a break because it’s just too damn depressing.
You run up to every Japanese person you know give them a hug and thank them for being the ethnic group responsible for Tenchi

You created your own take on The Adventures in Time and Space trilogy…
And it’s currently at #3830
You waste your entire life savings on a trip to Japan to discover much to your horror that there is actually no Masaki Shrine.

You where severely beaten at a Star Wars convention for trying to convince everyone of the REAL greatest movie trilogy

You have started counting down the days until OAV 3

You’ve been kicked off the Tenchi Muyo Mailing List

You’ve been leveled numerous one week bans by MYTENCHI.COM

Your computer is now merely referred to as the Tenchi Box

You do acid just so you can see Tenchi characters while you trip

You experiment with other drugs to see which ones will make you see Tenchi characters faster and for how long

You know all the words to every Tenchi song

You’ve become a pioneer based on the songs examples

You refuse to let any one around you chop fire wood for fear they may be related to Azaka and Kamidake

You paint red and blue Japanese words on two logs and command them to kill everyone you don’t like

It actually works

You own all the Tenchi paper dolls

You go to school dressed as Tenchi despite being a girl.

You go to school dressed as one of the Tenchi girls despite being a guy

You’ve been trying to sell your dad on the wonders of being an architect

Most fans aren’t aware that there are new Ken-Oh-Ki dolls out because you’ve already bought them all
You try to grow out your hair like Sasami
Pioneer is consulting with you on what they should do for the 3^rd OAV
You watch Raw Is War and turn it off in disgust when you learn that Kane is nothing more then some dumbass with an ugly mask and a big red suit

You walk up to every scientist are genius you meet and tell them that while they are quite bright they’re no where near Washu’s level.

You’ve had your name legally changed to that of a Tenchi character

Your mother has had to sit you down and calmly explain to you for the 47^th time that she has no hidden powers what so ever

You own a complete set of Tenchi key chains

After seeing Pretty Sammy you spend the next several hours combining Tenchi with other Anime

You own the alternate version of OAV 13

Due to numerous failures you conclude that your little sister can not cook like Sasami

Every day is begun with a daily prayer to all of your Tenchi stuff which is put into a circle in the center of your room

You are now in tears because this is the end of the line and the final update to this list.

You’re in frantic rejoice because the list is back

You sleep with a Tenchi characters picture under your pillow

When you think of porn all you can come up with is Tenchi related hentai

You’ve built your own Masaki shrine out of popsicle sticks and paper mache

You own the Mihoshi special that ran during the OAV series

While others can remember what they where doing during important historical events you can remember the exact moment you became a Tenchi otaku
You will most likely be a virgin forever because everyone you ever try to go with refuses to let you call her insert-Tenchi character-name-here.

Everything in your room is named after a Tenchi related thing
You base peoples intelligence on their knowledge of Tenchi

Whenever you stop and wonder what your life would be like without Tenchi you burst into tears and don’t stop for several hours

All three Tenchi movies make you cry despite repeated, daily viewings

You often debate with Ranma fans over who has the superior harem, Tenchi or Ranma

You always win these debates
You have been excommunicated by every religion in your community because as much you might think…Tsunami is not the supreme deity
The words "My Life" and "Tenchi Muyo" have become interchangeable
You base the quality of every band for every era for every genre on how many Tenchi Muyo songs they have written

Based on this belief, 98 % of every band/singer/composer ect that has ever existed REALLY sucks

You get another F in history when your teacher informs you that Ryoko is not the most infamous pirate ever

The local hospital knows you on a first name basis due to your constant efforts to recreate the experiments of Washu

You are often found praying to trees

You’ve named every tree in your town

You solve all the problems you come across by wondering what you’re favorite Tenchi characters would do

You may not have done 114…but you are no longer allowed into confessional booths because missing out on a rare Tenchi item on Ebay is NOT the most grievous sin you have or will ever commit

You have no urge what so ever to stop reading this list and have every intentions of continuing

You’re planning to flame me because this list has depressed you too much

You’re planning to name all children you have after Tenchi characters

You collect Tenchi hentai despite a deep loathing for hentai because it’s still Tenchi related

While some can remember what they where doing the day Kennedy was shot, you can remember exactly what you where doing the moment you first heard of Tenchi

Your obsession with Tenchi has come to the point where you look at everything around you and wonder how it could be applied to any of the Tenchi worlds

You’ve tried to recreate the time machine Washu made

After acquiring all of the Tenchi manga, you go ahead and photocopy all of it just in case something happens to the originals

You have a blow up doll of at least one Tenchi character

You’ve had to replace the doll at least once

You bought a Ryo-oh-ki and Ken-oh-ki plush, threw them in a closet alone and returned several hours later to find to your frustration that they did not breed and make more plush’s

You buy the Ryo-oh-ki plush and always use the term "plush" because it doesn’t sound as girlish as "Stuffed animal"

The bad grades continue when you get an F in Science despite your belief that your report on the greatest scientist ever, Washu is one of the most well written, insightful reports ever written

You’ve written several letters to MTV asking when they will have a Tenchi related deathmatch

You have a Tenchi related column

You’ve sewn up your own Ryo-oh-ki costume and wear it every day

You’re no longer consulted on what to name a baby because all you can come up with is Tenchi names

You have a list of all the songs you think would be good for Ryoko to Karaoke
You’re a guy and you rewrite several songs so they don’t make you feel like a sissy for liking them
When listening to one of your many Tenchi mix CD’s you talk to a friend and ask him what he and other people mean by "other J-pop"
You think Soaps would be a hell of a lot better if they featured Tenchi characters
Even though you don’t own a single video game system you own every Tenchi game that has been released
The only way people can get you to do anything is by saying it’s what insert-Tenchi-character-here would do
All music tv stations have had to write to you and ask you to stop requesting Tenchi music videos
Based on #147 you go out and make your own
You have spent four or more hours on a download involving Tenchi

You liked Tenchi Forever
You think the porn industry would be a hell of a lot better if they featured Tenchi characters
You’ve been committed
They gave up on you
They became Tenchi fans because of you
You make your own little Washu bots
You attempt witchcraft for the sole purpose of summoning Tenchi characters
You have created your own remixs of all the Tenchi songs
You make life size Tenchi characters and act our adventures with them. (ala Senior Trip)
The Oscar committee have had to write to you and ask you to stop writing to them and demanding that any of the three Tenchi movies be nominated for best foreign film
You have plans to release your own Tickle me Tenchi doll

You HAVE released a Tickle me Tenchi doll

Your mother has had to ask you to stop calling her Achika
You often shape your food into the likeness of certain characters
You own all other language dubbed Tenchi tapes just so you can know what they sound like
You won’t let anyone near your broom closet because you never know when Washu will show up and may need it
Based on what you’ve seen on the show, you take up karaoke
Various wrestling promotions have had to write to you and ask that you stop writing to them and suggesting Tenchi characters for future gimmicks
You often have the following conversation

Significant other: It’s either that Tenchi show or me

You: Well I guess this is goodbye

The movie Free Enterprise sounds an awful lot like your life with Tenchi taking the place of Star Trek
Every morning when you get dressed you play the Lighthawk Wing theme

You’ve given up on New Years resolutions because they always seem to involve you promising to buy more Tenchi stuff and convert more people to Tenchi fandom

You’ve printed off at least five hundred Tenchi images and have them stored neatly in a folder

You buy two of every Tenchi thing so you can put one away

You blew your life savings on a trip to Japan just so you could be at the stage show

Every Christmas, you buy girls comics for your Dad

Stumping you on a Tenchi trivia question is considered a life-worthy achievement

You’ve attempted to make your own Tenchi brand soda

While some start fan clubs you’ve started a cult

Every time Cartoon Network announces they are working on some "changes" with Toonami you become gripped with horrible fear

You comfort MST3K fans by telling them they went through the same thing with Tenchi

You’ve decided to get a sex change just so you can be like your favorite female Tenchi character

Movie studios have had to repeatedly ask you not to send them scripts for a full blown live action Tenchi flick.

You name animals after Ryo-oh-ki that have NOTHING to do with rabbits or cats

You have a Tenchi Muyo image or design on your credit card

Every room in your house now has a number followed by "Tenchi viewing room"

Whenever a show gets cancelled you say to yourself, ‘They would have done a lot better to have Tenchi characters on their show

You’re still reading this

You’ve spent your college book money on Tenchi stuff

While MST3K fans had "Turkey day marathons" you followed suit with Tenchi

Despite hating the Toonami version of the show, you defend it every chance you get simply because it’s Tenchi on a well known network

You angrily wonder why the Internet Movie Database has yet to publish the news of the 3^rd OAV

You watch Three’s Company simply because it’s vaguely similar to Tenchi

In fact, you’ll read or watch ANYTHING that’s vaguely similar to Tenchi

You make it a point to write to HBO, Cinemax and ask when they’ll show the three Tenchi movies
You have no problem with the fact that a lot of the things on this list are really similar
You bury a time capsule with Tenchi stuff so future generations can discover it

You have every single story at the TMFFA saved onto your computer

The previously mentioned computer has become inoperable because there’s so much Tenchi stuff on it

You have a detailed list comparing the scientist merits of Pearl and Clayton Forester and Washuu

You know every single spelling variation for all the Tenchi characters names

Well that’s it…I did actually enjoy going through this list and giving it a big update. What I hope now is that someone will continue this list and come up with another 100 reasons. As always thanks for reading and while you’re at it head over to the TM! Top 100 scroll down to number twenty which should be The Void Under the Stairs and click on it. Check out all the great stuff it has to offer such as my column, how to find Tenchi stuff, the up to date news and more then vote for it so it can advance on. Once again thanks for reading and be sure to review. For the hell of it here’s the numbers that apply to me.

5(only as a joke)

6(only one)

18(Only a couple episodes)

36(I ended up buying my own)

42(just a burned mix CD)

58(tried to anyway)

69 (coming soon to a fan fic site near you)

104

105

106

112

113

134

135 (once)

138

141

144

149

150

151

169

172

Sad huh?

End.